Friday, June 28, 2019

Everything Changes

Change is the only constant...

A few weeks ago I was certain that BeeGee would be my last cat. This week, in mourning his loss, as I looked ahead to the future, what I saw was a bleak landscape without anybody to love and care for.

BeeGee chimed in and said, "For 20 to 25 years??? Seriously??? No way. You need another cat. I'm all for it. I want another kitty to be privileged enough to be your cat, Mum."

So I will adopt another cat, most likely in the fall.

I recall writing that I didn't want the stress and anxiety of having another animal. But when I thought about it more deeply, I realized that not having another cat, being totally alone in the world without someone to care for, would be even more stressful than having one.

Having something to look forward to now, has definitely raised my spirits and lifted me out of the morass of grief. New life; that's what it's all about.

Monday, June 24, 2019

The End of An Era

The thing that I feared the most for about the last 10 years, has come to pass...

I had to put BeeGee down this morning. Just in the last 3 days he started actively dying. It was a really tough weekend. But the timing was right for him to go today.

As Pema Chodron says, "Things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together and fall apart again. It's just like that."

That's exactly what this last three months has been like. And it's been phenomenally stressful for me.

Pema goes on to say, "The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

I love you my darling BeeGee. I'll see you again when I cross the Rainbow Bridge.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Broken Widget

Thanks to a couple followers for letting me know the link to my Instagram was broken. The widget provider is SnapWidget, and apparently they changed things slightly, so the link stopped working.

As it is now, it looks like the widget will take you to a SnapWidget page for my IG images, rather than to IG itself. If you click one of the images on my widget, you'll go to that image at SnapWidget, with other images alongside.

Hope it works now. Blog owners really have no control over these things, unfortunately.


Monday, June 3, 2019

The Freedom of Letting Go

So, I mentioned in last week's post that I was in the process of selling my unwanted/unused acrylic supplies+ (paint, media, charcoals, chalk pastels, big brushes, palette knives and big canvasses). How it turned out is that on the preceding Friday late afternoon I had the thought to sell the stuff, and by 48 hours later all of it had been sold. I guess my timing was right.

I kept about 10 percent of the acrylic paint, only in colors I adore, and some of the media. Plus I have all my watercolor paints, w/c media, pencils, etc, etc. I can still do "art" if/when I want to.

But I'm no longer holding onto that sense of guilt...guilt at having spent so much money on stuff I never or hardly used, and guilt at not using it. That right there is worth more than the few hundred dollars I made last weekend.

And now I find myself letting go of other stuff ~ stuff I no longer need, stuff I won't use again despite that little voice in my head telling me to keep it just in case, stuff I'm done with.

And it feels great, to let go of stuff, to lighten my load a bit. There's enormous freedom in letting go of holding onto stuff physically, as well as the psychic holding we all do.

I've also let go of the need to continue to market/sell more of the vintage postal goods I bought and sold last year. The reality is that I've already made 7 or 8 times what I paid for the lot. And I can comfortably say I don't need whatever income is left to earn from it. So I'll be offering the entire inventory of stuff I was going to sell on IG in a week or so, to other sellers there, most of whom also have Etsy shops. I just can't/don't want to deal with all the moving parts of online selling any longer. Too stressful for the return for this old gal.

I love giving stuff away. More, really, than I enjoy acquiring things. Because of that freedom. The more stuff we have, the more we're obligated to use it, to maintain it, to pay to house it, etc. I like having a small footprint.

Enjoy June! xx