Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Long Dry Season
I had this "superiority-inferiority" complex, where in my cuckoo mind I thought I was better than other people because I could get along with so little -- so little stuff, so little juice, and so little (self) love.
I was punishing myself for all those years, adding insult to the previously-perpetrated injuries.
I lived in such a way as to say to life, "I can do without whatever you have to offer...I'll show you!" Instead of turning lemons into lemonade, I learned to live without lemons at all.
I lived the stripped-down barren life that was dictated to me by my past. I still expected the past to somehow make things better for my present...like, if I could dredge it up enough, somehow things would turn out differently in the present (the very definition of insanity).
But those days are over, thankfully. I've begun adding back little flourishes into my life, small things that make life more enjoyable. I've opened my heart again to the world. I'm treating myself much more kindly. I'm counting blessings multiple times every day. It's only going to get better from here on out.
Thanks for being here. xx