Monday, March 20, 2017

The Sunny Side

Today is purportedly the first day of spring...and it's raining, for a change.

Today is also the first day of the rest of my life, as it is for everyone else.
I've decided to start my life over, to begin again from right where I am.

That old script ~ the one where all I see everywhere is limitation, the one where the options appear to be few, the one that says "This is who I am and this is the way it has to be," was never my script to begin with.  I didn't write it.  I'm not directing it any longer.

Everything (well, many things) with me has always been heavy, portentous, serious, laden with shit (fear, shame, guilt, yada yada yada).

Enough with that.  I've got the rest of my life to live.  I've had more than a lifetime's fill of psyching myself out.  I just want to live the rest of my life in peace, and be who I am without constantly apologizing for myself needlessly.

This is who I am ~ a great person, talented, creative, smart, intelligent, competent, productive and compassionate, with a good heart.  I'm authentic, I'm sensitive, I always work to my best ability, and I try to do the right thing always.  What more do I need? 




Friday, March 17, 2017

False Spring

In this possibly-the-wettest-winter-on-record in northern California, we had an intimation of spring for a few days, several days ago.  The temps were in the mid- to high-60s, the skies were clear and sunny, I sat on my patio, I wore aloha shirts and flipflops.  But now it's raining again. Winter will end at some point in the near future...eventually.

Totally different subject ~ now that I am no longer following anything political, and by that I mean I went so far this time as to even cancel my print subscription to The Nation, in addition to ditching Facebook again, and Twitter, all of which were my only sources of news...with those obvious distractions gone, I am feeling less connected again to the world.  This is where I'd post that cartoon, if I had access to it, that says, "My desire to know what's happening in the world is directly opposed to my desire to stay sane," or something like that.

It's better this way, of course, the sane way.


Friday, March 10, 2017

Way Better

Glad to report I'm feeling much better...if only because I decided to stop following what's happening politically.  It's all so aggravating that it was literally making me sick, but there's nothing I can do about any of it.  It's just what's so, now.

A deeper equanimity comes when we learn how to be with our life as it is, not as we would like it to be.

Self preservation guided me to turn away from all that and focus on my life, the life I've been given to lead, the life where I can have some impact on things. 

And all is well here in my tiny corner of the universe.  I have a lot of blessings, and no real complaints.  It's all working.

In addition to this week's collages, I've been working on a series of gift tags with bird collages on one side and bird stamp collages on the other.  To give away to my peeps.

I really love making things and giving them away.  I typically keep one or two pieces from any group of things I make ~ tags, ATCs, postcards, etc. ~ and distribute the rest over time to penpals and snailmates.

I've had better-than-usual luck this year finding good stuff at estate sales, book sales and the like ~ see photos below.  Perhaps it's because I have a specific focus now in what I'm looking for, or possibly it's just luck.

Most of the stuff below is from a recent estate sale.  The second image is a haul from my fave used bookstore in Eureka.  There was an earlier estate sale as well, but I must have deleted the photo of my goodies from that one.

I have more ephemera and images from vintage books now than I'll ever use.  Some of this stuff also goes to snailmates, who always send me some of their finds in exchange.

What a lovely world it is, exchanging precious things with kindred souls around the world.

And the Fortuna Library's annual book sale is tomorrow.  I'll likely not stop collecting materials now, even though I have enough.  The thrill of the hunt for good stuff is great fun, and I have no intention of depriving myself of enjoyment.






Sunday, March 5, 2017

Not Good

Not much to say.  Just watching in horror as the rules, regulations and rights of this previously-relatively-civil society are stripped away...as the issues that divide this country become deeper, wider and uglier...as everything that has held this country, the world, this planet in precarious balance is being destroyed...as dystopia begins to set in.

I haven't been sleeping well.  I've had heart palpitations quite often, lately.  I feel less than great these days...although not sick with anything nameable.

Except perhaps disgust, dismay, distress, disquiet...