Ready for Fall

I'm so ready for fall.  We haven't had much summer on the North Coast...so let's just move on, shall we? 

Currently, due to previous and new forest fires to the north of us, the sky is smoky/hazy enough that Humboldt looks like Los Angeles on a bad day.  It's really sad. 

The entire country, as in the USA, is on fire, in one way or another.  I have no hope that this sinking ship can be turned around, that all the wrongs that have happened here especially in the past eight months, can be righted.  It's gonna take generations to fix things.

BeeGee is doing VERY well, I'm glad to say.  He had an ultrasound ten days ago, and altho the vet found a couple of potentially problematic things in his organs, I don't think either of those are what caused him to get ill several weeks ago.  I think the biggest issue was acute arthritis pain.  I have him on a bunch of natural supplements now, including cannabis oil for pain and curcumin for inflammation, and he's back to his old self again.  He's slowly putting some weight back on, eating a lot, and doing everything his body should be doing.  I am so thankful...and so is he!  He's my miracle kitty!

Have a great weekend. xx

Life Lessons

Several memes and quotes (anonymous, unless otherwise attributed) have shown up in my life recently, that speak volumes...

"The people in your life should be a source of reducing stress, not causing more of it."

"How people treat you is their karma.  How you react is yours."  Wayne Dyer

"As you are shifting, you will begin to realize that you are not the same person you used to be.  The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable.  Where you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth.  Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent.  You are beginning to understand the value of your voice, and there are some situations and people that no longer deserve your time, energy, and focus."

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

"No matter how badly someone treats you, never drop down to their level.  Remain calm, stay strong, and walk away."

"Sometimes you have to just walk away, despite how much time and energy you've invested in another person."

Have a good week.

Navigating Uncertainty

Mostly I'm reading right now, and spending time with BeeGee.

Doing a little art when the mood strikes, but not having any expectations of myself.

Embracing the uncertainty that surrounds us everywhere these days.  Learning how to navigate.

Be well.

The New Normal

The new normal for me is that I'm living, everyday, with an acute sense of the fragility of life, of impermanence.

That feeling, that sense, manifests as the anxious quiver of being that underlies all of our human attempts to drown it out or cover it over with addictions to anything and everything...and not just drugs, but all the things we do every day in our lives to avoid actually being in the present moment.

Over the last few years I've made it a practice to remove all those distractions from my life, as many as humanly possible in this day and age, so that I can/could be present to exactly what's happening in the here and now.

And experiencing the anxious quiver of being, or the fundamental ambiguity of being human, is my ground of being now.  I felt it now and then before BeeGee apparently-suddenly became an older cat, in moments of utter quietude.  Now that I am taking care of this beautiful elder being, I'm living every day in this place of groundlessness.

My practice now is to learn to embrace it, to become comfortable with it, to do my life just as before, but with this inate shaky feeling in my heart and gut.  And just be with it.

This sense of fragility, of vulnerability, of tenderness, of impermanence, of groundlessness...

Childhood's End

Mostly, this is an update on BeeGee.  The results of his xray yesterday are that he has major arthritis in his spine, especially his cervical spine and neck.  Poor bubie.  I can't imagine how much pain he's been in for so long.  Cats, as you cat lovers know, are extremely stoic, they bear their pain until they've got one foot virtually in the grave.  He'd also lost a lot of weight just recently because the pain made him stop eating anything more than a bite or two a day.

The vet gave him a steroid shot yesterday that should last for two weeks, and several cans of Urgent Care food that he's already eaten a lot of.  We're hopeful that the one shot will get him on his way to healing and recovery.  But if he needs additional pain management, of course he'll get that when the time comes. 

BeeGee is an elderly cat now.  To be honest, he is the first being in my life whom I'll be shepherding through old age and death.  So I expect there to be life lessons for me in the coming months and years. 

I'm gonna lay low for a few days, regroup, get my own creative routine back on track.

Have a good week.