But for now, I'm cobbling together bases on which to do further work, using scraps and odd bits as well as already-cut squares.
I'm not sure why it's being so difficult for me to just let go and stitch ~ stitch things together randomly, embroider with abandon, think outside the box, push the envelope. I had the same kind of difficulty with painting. A held-backness.
Things always appear to be easy when someone else does them, yet I struggle to just dive in. This has kind of been a lifelong thing for me, a certain feeling of constraint.
I'm having a memory right now of when I was quite small, of coloring in coloring books. My M.O. was always to heavily darken the lines with a colored crayon, and then fluidly fill in the space. That says something to me about making sure my boundaries are secure before allowing myself to expand into the conscribed space. I'd never let myself color outside the lines ~ that was a no-no.
I realize that I obviously didn't arrive at that all by myself when I was a kid, that I was responding to the messages I got from my environment. Maybe I can sum up my life as being my best efforts to go outside the lines. And although I've managed to do that in many and likely most aspects of my life, in my art, I've had far more difficulty stepping out. So this isn't a new place where I find myself at the moment.
At the risk of sounding defeatist, which I'm not really...perhaps I've hit my limit, an edge that I may or may not be able to go beyond. I always like to think that I can go beyond, certainly always that I should. But I don't know. I might just be who I am (well of course I'm that!), have the level of talent or skill that I have, and this is what it is.
Something to think about, anyway.