Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Heaven is NOW

Acrylics, vintage and painted papers, cardboard on
canvas panel, 11x14 inches
This is the other piece for that recent painting lesson ~ 11x14 inches on canvas panel.

Rather than titling this post "Wordless Wednesday," my news is that there's not much to say.

As I meander farther into silence and solitude, I'm gradually detaching myself from "being" my story.  And from letting that illusory story guide and direct my conversations, those both inside my head and out.

I no longer have the energy for overreaction borne of aversion to anything and everything beyond life as it really is.  I'm not interested now in verbal jousting, self-justification, defensive posturing, ego-driven oneupsmanship.  So much of our conversation is about propping ourselves up, propping our egos up, actually.  When you take all that away, what it all boils down to is that there isn't much left to say.  And nothing to complain about.  Life just is what it is.  No amount of complaining or worrying or teeth-gnashing or ceaseless story telling has ever changed anything.

What I'm doing in lieu of all those habitual thought patterns is spending as much time each day as I can in conscious awareness of the moment ~ feeling it, relishing it, loving it, sensing my connection, making the most of it, getting all the joy I can from it.  Especially because nothing lasts.  This particular blissful time won't last forever ~ it will be followed by future blissful moments, but not this one specifically.  Everything keeps changing ~ I'm sure you've noticed.  You can't step twice into the same stream, as some Zen master once said.  Appreciate it now...because it'll soon vanish.

Am I getting too airy-fairy for you?  I hope not.  Heaven is NOW. 

10 comments:

ileneharris said...

I have always believed that Heaven and Hell exist in the present. Sometimes you have a choice, but more often you don't. Having lived both, I know that the only part I can (but not always) control is my attitude.

It is really wonderful to read about you letting go of the negatives.

A step by step journey, for sure...

john said...

What you have written is powerful! I brought Tim into read it. He copied it into a word document to keep it. Thanks for your thoughts. :-)

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

I like to be reminded to live in the moment and I do like solitude, but I would miss those moments of conversation and connection with close friends, they sometimes see what we miss in our noticing or give us a new way to look. xox

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

I like these two very much. When you speak of deli paper ...is it the same as freezer paper? I've used freezer paper on silk screen but have never tried to find deli paper...?
You are in such a good place! I'm finding as I age...nothing triggers the panic that I used to face...I'm more okay with the moment as it is and more accepting.

Jacki Long said...

Really a strong handsome piece! ;o)

Els said...

Keep being there Connie, in the "now" ..... ;-)

The Idaho Beauty said...

I caught myself bending my head to the right to see how that painting would look in landscape orientation. You know my regimental mind - it wanted the row of numbers to be upright. ;-)

Not too airy-fairy but there's something to be said for connections as opposed to engagements, that the getting of the inner life in order is in preparation for fulfilling our purpose here. I think that's my yoga teacher's influence on me. There's a connectedness we cannot deny. And yes, it's not out there, it's not in the future or the past, but it is now.

One thing I am having to remind myself of right now is that I cannot fix everything (nothing, actually) or support everyone who might need support. I am in a bit of a fragile place right now and this compulsion I have to reach out in some way (the sort of engagement you are eschewing) is draining my energy and outlook. I'm literally stopping myself mid-type to remind myself to step back and let it go. These people and events drawing my attention don't need me in the midst of them, and I need to direct my energies inward for now.

However, I didn't do a very good job of stepping back here, did I! Well, you're one of the people I make an exception for...

jenclair said...

"our approximation here on earth of heaven or hell," says Peter Meinke in his Advice to My Son. There is always a balance of good and bad, the mundane and the spiritual; we have to make the most of it!

Judy Sall Fiber Art said...

Beautifully put, Connie. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come, all we have is today. You seem to be more centered these days, and I'm very glad for you. That's a major accomplishment in my book... enjoy!

frazzledsugarplummum said...

You always have good to share.