Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Purple Thing

I guess I'm into a purple thing now, everything's comin' up purple! Actually, it's that PolaDroid application that contributes much of the purple cast to a lot of my photos. And if it's not purple, then it's some other old timey aura. I love that app! Check it out here if you're interested.

So this quilt, another 12x12" that will be mounted on a frame, is called Heaven's Gate. Just another one of innumerable old stone stairways at Varenna on Lake Como. Absolutely heavenly!

I'm in a pensive mood tonight, have been thinking about a variety of art and creativity related matters of late...maybe this is a good time to verbalize some of my ruminating...

I've been looking at how I see things, rather intensely lately. Like how my brain processes the input through my eyes -- the individual things themselves, the patterns they create together, shadows, line and shape, depth, areas of color -- the gestalt of a particular view out into the world. I'm not looking at details much these days.

I've been wondering whether each of us has our own way of visually seeing the world, or whether there are certain ways of seeing. Does everybody really see everything differently, or are there categories of perceiving -- like being a big thinker, or a detail person. And how much does our individual emotional complexity influence how and what we see. And perhaps why we see what we see or don't see.

I've been wondering about why this is important to me at all. But I think the internal discussion I'm having might be about giving myself permission to do my own work, for lack of a better way of saying it. Or, validating myself, my process, my own take on things, my artistic vision, what drives my choices in the work I create.

I've always been a contrarian, which generally refers to a person with a preference for taking a position opposed to that of the majority view prevalent in the group of which they are a part. But for me it's been more like, whatever works for other people almost never works for me. And I've pretty much spent my life trying not to be a contrarian, to fit in, when I never have, when I haven't really been able to be any other way than I am.

Goes back to permission. I think perhaps I'm beginning to own myself, or I'm becoming more myself than I've ever been before -- allowing myself to create what I create, to think and see the way I do, without really giving a hoot what anybody else thinks. To put myself out there without being defensive, without qualification or justification, just because it feels authentic to me, and without worrying about whether I or my work meet specifications or expectations (when in fact I secretly hope I don't but I'm not quite comfortable acknowledging that yet).

In a nutshell -- I want to be different (from anybody else), but I'm afraid you (the world) won't like me if I am. And yet I sense that the world is just waiting for me to step off the cliff and learn to fly! So who's standing in my way?

I think I'll save other deep thoughts for another time.


Maggi said...

I love the piece. Do give yourself permission to be you. Not only will you feel more comfortable with what you are doing but you will also create piece through which the real you shines. If some people don't like that there will be plenty more who do.

Karen M said...

So many different ways of seeing the world, but many people never consider that someone else may see things differently. And by that ZI mean not just the end result, but the entire process of thinking. My husband thinks in pictures, translates into words. One of my daughters only thinks in words, and has from the beginning. The other sees a lot through rythmn and pattern, maybe this is why she is so drawn to music? I think I do a little of each. Sometimes these techniques bring us to the same place, sometimes we are complete mysteries to eachother. But the discovery process is always interesting.

That being said, I enjoy seeing what you are thinking, both in your words, and images. Stay yourself.

Meg said...

I see details. And some colors, but not others. Sometimes lines and shapes. On a good day, even shades and lights. But I don't see patterns.

That's why I like the end-of-session critique in my drawing class. Certain people always comment about certain things, even though you'd think, I think, certain aspects are so obvious in a particular drawing and other asp sects negligible, even that criteria seems to be different.

There was, for e.g., a woman I didn't care for, who always saw patterns in things, and she was pathetically nice to me and in the end I learned so much from her because seeing pattern is useful in my work. I still don't see patterns, that woman has gone on to do more spurious art studies, and I continue to ponder if it is possible to teach myself to see things differently. Or in many more ways. And so far I haven't been able to.

On the other hand, I've adopted a new motto for my cloth-making, (and life, really): "It is what it is." Because I can TRY to be aware of things, but in the end my eyes, hands, or even my stomach, end up where they feel comfortable. And my eyes love details.

One good thing about my cloth making is I am so detached from what I make, which I always thought was a bad thing, but again, it is what it is, and it is who I am, so.... so be it?


Unknown said...

Love this post, Connie, and your musings about yourself and your art... very timely for me, because I've been mulling similar ideas in my own heart. I haven't found my answers yet... enjoying the search, though.

frazzledsugarplummum said...